Gracious Uncertainty

My oldest daughter graduated from college last week.  The speaker at her commencement quoted Oswald Chambers concerning what he called "gracious uncertainty."  The idea stuck in my head, and I looked it up when I returned home.  He spoke of certainty being the mark of the commonsense life.  We all want to be certain of what is next, and that if we act in a certain way, predictable results will follow.  Certainty is very appealing, but while it may be the mark of the commonsense life, it is not the mark of the spiritual life.  That's where gracious uncertainty comes in.  Gracious, because all that we are or have is a result of God's grace.  Uncertainty, because as we abandon ourselves to God, He begins to fill our lives with unexpected surprises.  We are uncertain in all our ways, not knowing what is ahead.  Indeed, the only thing we can be certain of is God.  Chambers wrote, "But when we have the right relationship with God, life is full of spontaneous, joyful uncertainty and expectancy.  Jesus said '...believe also in Me' (John 14:1), not, 'Believe certain things about Me'.  Leave everything to Him and it will be gloriously and graciously uncertain how He will come in - but you can be certain that He will come."

I hesitated in updating because I hoped to have some exciting progress to report in this upcoming move.  I do not have that.  We continue to pack (throw away, mostly) up the house and prepare for the move.  Arrangements for our house here are made, and nothing has happened that leads us to believe we are not supposed to go to Williston this summer.  But neither has any progress been made (as least that we can see) toward us having any kind of housing there.  We spoke to a "friend of a friend" who lives in Williston on the phone, and he confirmed for us that we really should come with a trailer or 5th wheel camper that will hold up to the ND winter, but we have neither that nor something to pull it yet.  We have looked at 4WD trucks, but haven't moved on that yet.  Since we turned over control of our lives to Christ (many years ago), He has asked us to do many things we never could have done without Him, and He has ALWAYS provided all the support we would need to complete the task at hand.  He has provided support financially, emotionally, physically, and in ways we never could have imagined.  He has NEVER provided that support early, but always right when we needed it.  I believe He will do that in this situation as well.  We are certain that God is telling us to move to North Dakota, and only He could have changed our hearts and made us want to move to a colder climate than we already live in.

As I was reading this over, it occurred to me that God may not provide for this move in the way I hope he will.  He may expect us to go without housing arranged.  That would be a real test of our faith, and would seem unwise.  But would it be?  Would it be unwise to do what God called us to do?  We would look like fools.  Ah, that's the tough part.  We don't want to look like we don't have it all together.  It would hurt our pride.  Stay tuned.  You may get to see us look like fools.  Because we will do what God has clearly called us to do.

Moving along...

I wouldn't wish my current project on anyone.  Sorting through the belongings in a house we have lived in for 19 years is not my idea of fun.  It is really difficult.  In a strange way, though, it has been therapeutic.  It brings to the surface many memories.  Most of them are pleasant.  Some of them are painful.  All of them have given me occasion to think about the way I've spent my time. 

Much of my time in this house has been spent doing "mom" stuff - refereeing endless arguments, homeschooling, talking to teenagers late into the night, encouraging, correcting, fixing meals, cleaning, supervising chores, laughing...the list goes on endlessly.  During the time I was doing that, it often felt like what I was doing had little value.  I see now that it had great value. 

In the past ten years, I have been able to work at a few jobs that I really loved.  I felt that what I was doing was important, and had great value.  God led me into a field I never thought I'd go into (working with offenders), and I loved it.  I hope to do that work again after our move.  I don't mean to devalue the work I did, but I have come to realize that it wasn't as important as those late night talks with teenagers, or any of the other mom stuff I spent my time doing.  I've been pondering I Corinthians 3:11-15.  Much of the work I've been paid for will be burned.  The "mom" work, even that which seemed brainless and frustrating at the time, will survive.  It has eternal value.  I'm so thankful God gave me the opportunity to be a mom.

As far as the plans for the move go, things are falling into place.  Downsizing the house is progressing slowly.  We are developing a clearer picture of the sequence of the move.  We are receiving so much encouragement from people who are aware of our plans, and that encouragement is such a blessing.  Many people are praying for us and for the move, and that is the greatest support we can receive.  A few days ago, I was reading Genesis 24, in which Abraham sent his servant to his homeland to bring back a wife for his son, Isaac.  I was struck by how specifically the servant prayed to know who this wife would be, and how specifically God answered his prayer and directed him to Rebekah.  I have a tendency to be very general in my prayers, and I needed to see the value of specific requests, and be reminded that God answers them.  He is a God of details. I will be putting prayer requests at the end of blog posts, and we would be so grateful if those of you who pray would pray for us. 

PRAYER REQUESTS
Housing  It is likely that we will need to bring a travel trailer, a fifth wheel or a motor home with us for temporary housing.  We will need to find one that is not only affordable, but in good enough condition to withstand North Dakota winter weather, since "temporary" could last 6 months to a year.
Vehicle  Our 2005 Dodge Caravan with 160,000 miles would not pull something we could live in.  We have looked at a couple of 4 wheel drive pick up trucks and stronger SUV's, but again we need wisdom for what to get, and it needs to be affordable.  God will provide what we need, and we want to be wise with His provision.

Welcome to my blog!

There's something I need to confess. I hate cold weather. After 25 years of living in Northeast Ohio and dealing with lake effect snow from Lake Erie, I am really ready to move to a warmer climate. At least that's what I thought. God had other plans. He has a great sense of humor. This story began in August of 2011, when I learned about an area in Western North Dakota that is experiencing a great boom in the economy as a result of a huge amount of oil drilling. Jobs are plentiful, and wages are excellent. On the downside, the cost of living is very high, and housing is almost nonexistent. I found that very interesting, but what really interested me was the issues that come with a huge influx in population - problems like increased substance abuse, increased crime, and multiple other issues. These are the issues that grab my heart, not only because I have worked with people who struggle with addictions, but due to my own ongoing recovery and involvement in Celebrate Recovery, a Christian recovery program which focuses on God’s healing power in our lives through eight recovery principles (based on the Beatitudes) and the Christ-centered 12 Steps. Through CR, I have seen people freed from addictive, compulsive and dysfunctional behaviors. And these behaviors aren't just the "normal" addictions that lead people to recovery programs, but a variety of hurts, habits and hang-ups which enslave people. And I know from my own experience that the only higher power strong enough to overcome these behaviors is Jesus Christ. It occurred to me that people in Western North Dakota needed to meet Jesus. And I prayed that God would send other people there to accomplish that purpose - people who like cold climates! Did I mention that I am not one of those people? A few days later I asked my husband, Ken, to watch the program I had recorded. He watched it, and his response was much the same as mine, only geared more to his passions, which are different than mine. Both of us knew, though, that people who love God need to go to North Dakota and share His love with the people there who are struggling. Only not us. People who like cold climates. Because if there is anyone who hates cold weather more than me, it is Ken. We began to pray for the people in this area, and the churches, because we knew there were churches there. We both woke up at all hours thinking about it. We didn't talk about it much, but when we did, the discussions always ended with reminders to one another that we are NOT missionaries. In late October I shared all this with one of our pastors, and asked him if our denomination was doing anything in that area. He didn't know, but suggested that I call the District Superintendent for that area. I said I would. I didn't. Pastor Jeff called me every few weeks over the next 2 months to tell me he was praying for us and about North Dakota, and to ask me if I had made that call. I always had an excuse why I hadn't, but assured him I would make that call. I woke up one day in January knowing I would call that day. And when I did, I was able to speak to the person who was researching the possibility of a church plant in Williston, of all places. Imagine that. Only 2 days prior, he was in Williston and held a meeting to determine if there was enough interest to support the idea of a church plant. By this time, we knew God wanted us to go. He made it clear to us that we were to go whether or not there was a church plant, and He would meet us there. I tried to remind him that we hate cold climates, but He changed our hearts. We knew that if God had work for us there, we didn't want to be anywhere else. And now, unbelievably, we are excited to be moving to North Dakota this summer. We have every reason to believe we will be helping with a Christian & Missionary Alliance church plant, but whether that happens or not, we are going. Our daughter Amber will be graduating from college on May 12th, and she has chosen to join us. Our son Kenny will graduate from high school on June 1st, and he has chosen to join us. We have no idea if we will have housing, and many things are uncertain. But our God is going to meet us there. And that's enough. I should also probably mention that I've started to pray for global warming.