Pregnant....

Did that get your attention?  No, I'm not pregnant.  In fact, one of the things I am most thankful for is that when God designed women, He recognized that we reach a point where we are better suited to nurture the children of our children, and we don't have our own babies anymore.  I'm very happy to be at that place in my life.  But we recently (September 1, 2012) welcomed a new granddaughter into our family.  As our daughter was awaiting her birth, she got more and more uncomfortable, and more and more ready for her sweet little girl to arrive.  The due date arrived.  The due date passed.  Anticipation mingled with frustration, and was at times overcome by the frustration.  But on 9-1, just as God ordained, Savannah made her way into the world.  We are thrilled to be able to hold her and sing to her and love her.

It occured to me that our move has been very much like that.  We knew it would happen, we grew eager and wanted to set the timing on our own.  But it was God's timing that mattered.  We are still learning what that is.  We have determined (with the counsel of some very wise people of God) that since Ken's earning capacity is so much greater than mine, he will go first.  He will live in a man camp and work and save the money for the rest of us to join him.  At the salary of truck drivers in ND, that shouldn't take long.  Once he's there and working, the money won't be an issue so much as the availability of a place to live.  There are some possibilities, which he will be in a better position to scope out once he is there. At this point we are praying for another car.  We have been able to save some money, but we are determined to avoid going into debt, and to save all we can for the trip to ND.  As soon as that is in place, Ken will give his two weeks notice and he will be gone.

I grew up hearing and singing a lot of hymns.  I miss hymns.  I love today's modern praise and worship music, and I would not replace it, but I would love to see some hymns added to the mix more often.  They have such depth of wisdom, and I think I learned much of the theology I know from memorizing the lyrics to hymns.  Earlier this week, I read 2 Timothy 1:12, which states "...for I know whom I have believed, and am convinced that He is able to guard what I have entrusted to Him until that day."  On Wednesday of this week, all morning I could hear in my mind a hymn I grew up singing, based on that scripture (I Know Whom I Have Believed).  It had been a strange week leading to that day.  At the end of last week, I felt God strongly impress upon me "get ready to go."  No, I didn't hear his actual voice (though I believe He does sometimes speak to people that way, even today.  He is God, after all.  He is not limited by our expectations of what He will and won't do.  He can do ANYTHING that suits HIS purpose.)  But I heard Him, nonetheless.  I've been thinking a lot about the implications of that. Was He telling me we will be going together instead of Ken going first?  I don't know.  That has been our desire from the beginning, but it doesn't make sense from our perspective.  So I have tried, with a sick family and with me working a temporary full time job at the County Board of Elections, to figure out how to get that done.  Seems impossible to me.  But I know whom I have believed.  At one point I made a decision to BELIEVE in Jesus Christ and trust Him for my salvation.  As time has gone on, and I have trusted Him in many things and found Him to be completely worthy of my trust, it has become more than what I believe.  It is what I know.  And I know that if He has a plan that I can't see, and He told me to get ready to go, He can make all this happen. And I am convinced that He is able to guard what I have entrusted to Him.  What have I entrusted to Him?  Everything.   My life.  My will.  My possessions.  My marriage.  My kids.  My precious granddaughters.  None of them are mine.  They are all His.  So I hold them loosely, because they don't belong to me.  I don't mean to make that sound easy, or like I do it successfully all the time.  It's hard.  And I fail. And I hold my sweet granddaughters and I can't imagine leaving them. But I must.  And I will.  To do what God has asked me to do, what He has transferred from His heart to my heart.  Until that day.  That day when I see Him, face to face.  And I will, because He has promised me that in His word.  And He is Truth, and completely worthy of my trust.  What He says will happen, will happen.  I don't just believe that anymore.  I know it.

As things stand now, we will continue to get ready to go.  And unless God shows us otherwise, Ken will go first and we will stay with the plan that we and others have prayed over.  We are so eager to meet the people God first placed on our hearts over a year ago.  We can't wait to be a part of what He is doing in Williston.